Monday, November 7, 2016

Single Widowed Senior

I just realized that I'm wearing 3 different hats here.  Boy, writing this blog is good therapy.  Let me start with the last one.  Senior!  This one is ongoing I think, so at this point I'm probably never gonna know everything about being a senior.  But, I do want to just give a little bit here about being a senior.  You look in the mirror but your reflection isn't what you see.  It's a strange wrinkled old person, maybe your mother?  You reach up to retrieve  a large bowl from the cabinet above the stove and the arm isn't yours you see.  It's full of deep loose wrinkles stretching up while some sota just hang.  You get ready to get up from your favorite chair to get a snack and it takes 3 tries to actually get up on your feet.  I could go on but you get the picture.  BTW, that's a lot to accept and it's on going!

Widowed.  There was no insurance so it's "poor widow".  A whole new role in life.  No more shopping at will.  If there's a little money to shop for clothing etc., it's learning all about the thrift shops and second hand shops, Goodwill and Salvation Army.  You learn when senior day is and what day of the week to go to get the most current deal.  You also learn to buy store brands or the cheapest on the shelf, and the menu changes too.  Not eating out becomes the norm and steak is almost never.  Getting use to people asking how ARE you?  What are you doing these days? and then within seconds they are looking around bored at what you're saying.  Unbelievable as it seems, most reactions to grieving widows is..."you should be over that by now", or at least the words are spoken with that attitude.  You run into all kinds of attitudes that are unexpected.

Single.  "Are you dating anyone?"  That about says it all.  "You have to put yourself out there!"  My question is why?

Guess that's enough of that.  You know when you just say one of those words to describe yourself you have automatically put yourself in a category that defines who you are.  At least that's what they think.  But, it's just not true.  I am the same person I was before each one of those words became attached to me.  Certainly I've had to learn how to live differently, but learning is good and can be life changing if you let it.  A challenge, an adventure and doable.  Just ignore all the crying, anger, frustration, self pity, depression!  Really!!

More tomorrow.....  Blessings    Judy
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