I Am Rejected

Hi on this Wednesday before Christmas,

I now must read up on how to blog.  I thought it was about writing but, apparently I'm misinformed or not informed at all.  I applied for ads to be posted on my page but....I didn't pass so for now, no ads.  I am going to improve tho.  It is fun and I'd like to be seen and I haven't fully done things that will get my blog in a position to be read, my blog isn't out there, view-able.  Of course I did know that I wasn't getting comments and was missing anything that was offered in the comment section.  You won't regularly be seeing new posts while I read and study up on this thing called blogging.

For now though, I mean since I'm already here I might as well chat a little bit.  I've finished all my gifts for my family and have thought about making a couple more gifts but not sure I want to.  I'm awful tired and I should have thought about this earlier but I was busy with family gifts.

I worked outside because of the temperature.  I wanted to take advantage of the warm weather while it was still available.  Suppose to turn cold again tomorrow.  So, I cleaned out the front flower bed and worked on the back as well.  Not completely finished but it's a good start.  Gave a few things to the flower lady.  I am going to take all the rocks, whole bricks and the few pavers, plus 1 good size barrel planter and 1 pottery pot and two metal tubs for flowers.  Taking my shepherds hooks but giving her the 2 trellis and a fence stake.  One of the shepherd hooks is stuck so I'm gonna work on it as I can and hopefully I can take it with me too.

If I don't get back to this no worries, I'll just be reading up on how to do it right.

ox's and blessings,   Judy...the studying widow   Merry Christmas

I Like Pentrest

It's still morning and I've been lazin' around but the thing is I'm up.  Good morning to ya!

Excuse me for just a moment while I take my morning pills...K, done.!

The kiddo's classes and extra curricular activities and done for this week and next so no taxi service.  I do have tasks to do around the apartment getting ready to move.  It's suppose to be nice this afternoon so I plan to work on cleaning up the flowerbeds for the next resident and tidy up the outside.  Called the apartment manager but didn't get the info I wanted, No move in date yet...BUT I do get new carpet.  Yay.  I'm terrible excited about the whole move thing.

My creative tasks are to paint my newly acquired lamp which is presently gold to silver.  Also want to find out how to change the shade color which is now beige.  That will all be fun.  I worked on my watch band last evening and it looks nice and it fits, but it's not really how I want it so I'm going to keep looking around for the right bits and pieces that will be the right stuff.  I used blue moon stones and crystals and I like that.  It was my husbands Seiko.

Christmas is closing in and I have 2 more gifts to complete.  I'll get those done today too.  Then I'll make the short trip across town to deliver some to the kids house.  My wrapping color this year is blue with white ribbon.  All are wrapped the same, no doubt who they are from!!!

I have some reading to do also.  I found some articles on blogging at the Pentrest website and saved them.  I'll be reading up on how to set it up, what not to do, what to do, what to write about, etc., etc., and etc.   Hopefully I'll get better at this.  So far what I read encourages one to write sorta the way I'm writing and I'm glad about that.  I'll be growing and growing in this creative adventure.  But I'll tell you about what I'm learning as time goes on.  Of course, I'm excited about it!

Time to walk with Wendy...my blood pressure was really good this morning...yay!

Blessings today to all......Judy a Senior new blogger.... and Merry Christmas

My living room!

The lamp I will paint

I Have a Plan

Good Evening,

After some thoughtful consideration, I think I have a workable plan that will work for me in the weight loss predicament I find myself in.  A little warm up here.  Seems like what I've tried in the past was something I suddenly had to adapt to immediately.  Not a gradual moving into.  I just had to change overnight so usually I had a couple of days to eat all the things I wouldn't be able to eat.  Like all the chocolate and ice cream, fried chicken and french fries, well you get the idea.

This idea of mine helps me to move slowly into the mental place where I will be ready to, in a couple of weeks, be able to in a natural way, eat the right amounts of the right things and stop at a regular time every evening.  I just began to write down what I've eaten for each meal and no in between food. Next Saturday I will begin reading labels and counting calories, measuring and all that.  I will eat 300 calories per meal and 600 split between 4 snacks.

Meal planing will be my mode this next Thursday and Friday...  I will log it all each day and hopefully this whole process will have tuned me up to follow the 1500 calorie eating plan.  In the past, once I begin eating well I feel better day by day.  Increasing my exercise should help that as well but I haven't really figured how that's going to work.  Yesterday it was 6 degrees and started out that way today.  Tomorrow it starts at 18 degrees, 37 degrees at 3 pm.  That's pretty cold.  I've done it before so I'll just have to set my mind and do it.

I'm looking forward to success.

Blessings to ya'll.     Judy             P.S. If you are in a battle of this sort, may God Bless you and give you the strength to pursue your goal and the continued encouragement to take it a day at a time.

Little by Little

It's me again,

Twenty pounds.  I think I've done nearly every diet out there and I have lost weight from time to time, but mostly just been disillusioned and frustration.  I lost a good deal of weight once but is was not a life style change so not long after I'd reached goal the pounds began to slowly re-appear.  I weigh about 30#s less than my heaviest weight ever.

So, when I think about the doctor saying I have to lose weight...I am befuddled.  Lose it or you are looking at a stroke not too far off.  Okay, now what!  I'm not in a financial place that I can pay to join a group or pay for a product or anything like that.   I'm thinking that until I can find and settle on a way to accomplish a steady weight loss I will eat what I have in my fridge and pantry and watch the portions.  I've already cut out the candy, cake, etc.  Don't drink soft drinks at all.  Just water and coffee.  Nothing in the coffee.  Cut off the salt.  Started monitoring the blood pressure as the doctor asked, recording it in the morning and at night.  Began reading the label on what I'm eating and trying to stay within the 300 calories per meal and the rest of 1500 daily calories is for snacks.  Snacking on fruit so far, and eating salad at least once a day so far, with vinegar and oil dressing.  I'll have to go to bed earlier to help stop the munching before bed.  For now probably thru Christmas this is what I will do.  Christmas Dinner will be watching my portions but to indulge in all I like.  Hopefully by the day after Christmas I will have found a diet I can abide by and begin to follow it on purpose.

I don't have a problem increasing the exercise part, it's not too much for me.  Half I'll do with Wendy and the other half by myself.  Probably in the mall.

Got all but one gift finished and wrapped and I hope to finish it all up by the end of tomorrow.

Blessings as always to all.       Judy, still learning to do what I'm told!!!

Half Is Gone....already!!!

Hi again,

Wow.  I knew I hadn't written, but I didn't realize that the month is half gone already.  I have 3 more gifts to wrap.  I told the grands I'd be over with their gifts sometime this weekend.  Time just seems to be moving so fast... In the mean time...

Packing and more packing. I heard from my boss today that I'll get to work 4 shifts during this month which is a Godsend. There's the funds to complete the funds required for the move.  God is sooo good. My very good friend helped me pack again this morning.  I'm believing the apartment will be ready in time and no extension will be required.  

Had a follow-up cardio appointment yesterday.  Of all things...he wants me to lose 20#'s and wants to see me in February, I have to take a log of my blood pressure with me for that time.  Also have to exercise more than I'm doing now.  I walk a mile and a half most days.  I'll have to up it, but to challenge that, it's suppose to be unreasonably cold for the next week. 

Christmas celebrations are in process and I've missed two of them so far.  The next is a pancake breakfast Sunday morning before service, then Wednesday night will be a candlelight service. And, I'll keep packing and packing.

I sure hope all is going along well for you and yours.  It seems the Christmas season is always full of the regular things in life plus a whole series of additional things to celebrate the birth of Christ. I know it can feel overwhelming, but when you consider it's all part of His birth month and all the "to do" is in celebration, it can make it all fun and uplifting that we get to celebrate the most special of all birthdays.

Blessings as you celebrate.     Judy, celebrant  

It's A New Day!

Hi everybody,

The sun is shinning, and I woke up this morning...IT's A NEW DAY.  Did you realize that this morning?  We get to start all over and though things may seem the same, there's an opportunity to be different.  To be positive in thought, to smile and not frown, to sing and not mumble, to get up and do something that needs to be done, to be active and not procrastinate.  To get up do and not just think about doing.

He is new every morning, new every morning, great is His faithfulness oh Lord, great is Your faithfulness Oh Lord.

There is a temptation as one seniorize's to sit and think.  After a bit, that thinking turns into remembering days past.  I've noticed that I can actually think of things and remember things that I've not had need to remember from a very long time ago.  Even conversations.  Sometimes it's actually a good thing because what I'm thinking about may be how to do a particular task.  If the thinking goes on longer it may not be so good and can turn my mood sour.  With God's motivation I've been able to turn the negative off when I realize that's what's going on.  

If you have issues with that, turning on music greatly helps...  The TV might not be a good choice if it is presenting negative talk or pictures.  Stepping out the door and just looking around and taking a couple of deep breaths, even just a short walk can change what's going on in your head.

I've determined not to just sit.  I tried that during my mourning days and it's just not a good thing.  Not productive in a good way.  It actually turns your mouth down, or at least I think it does.  So, I decided NOT to just sit.  Having said that....I'm done here, been sitting long enough, so I'm gonna get up and do stuff after I turn on some music.

Blessings to all.....            Judy, senior widow

Life Sure Does Get Exciting!

Hellooooo,

I'm telling you it really does and the sun is shinning and I'm fixin to eat lunch at 3:15 pm.  Ho Ho Ho
Why do I think life is exciting?  Because it's Jesus' birth month.  In our family we start celebrating our birthdays at the beginning of the month until the end, so that's what I'm doing.  Celebrating the birthday of Jesus, my savior and Lord.

Went to church this morning and had a wonderful time, singing, dancing, clapping, hugging, laughing and loving.

Now, after lunch it's gonna be about....intermission time!  Had to go across the street to a friend and look at her apartment inside and make note of where I might put things as I'm moving which might be tomorrow for a start.  I'll know about that in the morning.  So, now that intermission is over, a bowl of soup and then it's about packing the bedroom closets as much as I can in a couple of hours.

After looking at the new apartment look a like, I've reconsidered whether or not I will have to downsize.  Maybe just use things for a different purpose when I get there.  It's a challenge, but then I like a good challenge.  All for this Sunday folks.  Just remember and know:

The angel said in Luke 2:10 "Then the angel said to them (the shepherds), Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people." nkj emphasis mine.

Blessings all........Judy, senior

I've Always Loved Saturdays!

Happy Saturday,

Don't ya think we are kind programmed to like Saturdays.  It starts when you go to school (unless you were home schooled).  Then, when you had a regular M-F 5day a week job.  Now, being retired, I'm just so use to Saturday being an automatically happy day that it still makes me happy.  I don't watch cartoons, I sometimes watch the animal shows.  Looking at the clock on the wall it's 10 am and I'm still in my jams!  Oh happy day.

My very loose plans for the day include my hobby, beading; packing; piddling around, and listening to Christmas music thru Roku.  Gotta walk with Wendy as it warms up some.  It;s 24f right now, but it's suppose to warm up considerably as the day goes on.

Oh, I might do some outside clean up too.  I forgot about that and since it's gonna get really cold again in another day or so, now is a good time to work outside for a bit.

I noticed yesterday that I'm being prompted by fb to build a website.  Now, why would I do that?  Really!  I mean since I write on this blog, seems like I'd be doing nearly the same thing on a webpage.  I have enough to keep up with now.  I have an Etsy shop, plus this page, and then there's email and fb, pentrest, and of course google. So, again, I ask you, why would I want a website?

Speaking of this page, I guess you noticed that I finally figured out how to get my two pictures lined up and resized.  It looks much better I think.  I still haven't figured out how to get my "comments" box working so that comments can be made by readers and read by me.  But I do continue to work at it so who knows...

I'm getting hungry and Wendy is getting restless so I'm going to sign off and eat breakfast, get dressed and get moving.  Blessings to you and yours,

Judy.....Single and adjusting day by day....even liking it more and more!  Go figure  :)

Dinner Is Ready...

Hi,

Is it dinner time where you are?  My usual dinner hour is around 7pm, but sometimes 8.

At the beginning of the month I package meals in foil for the whole month.  Each evening I take one main meat/dish and two vegetables from the freezer, lay them on a cookie sheet.  The oven is preheated to 425 degrees.  When the oven is ready, I put the meal in the oven and set the timer for 45-55 min. depending on past successes.

The timer just went off for the spaghetti, and time to put the garlic bread in for about 8 min. or so.  While the garlic bread is in the oven, I'll just keep writing.

The process has been working really well for about 3 months and I'm about to change it.  The electric bill has been more than I'd like so I've decided to use the microwave instead of the oven.  I haven't fixed the meals yet.  I'm still eating last months meals which is a good thing.

I bought some freezer paper and tape to use instead of the foil I was using for the oven.  So, when the time comes to fix more packages, I'll use the paper and tape.  I didn't mention that the pieces of chicken, pork, and beef are seasoned but raw.  That's why it takes so long for them to cook.  That will change of course, because the mail course will cook in the microwave.  I'm a bit anxious to see how this will all work out.  I think I have enough meals to last another two weeks.

Well, I've finished my spaghetti and garlic bread and a bit of  cranberry sauce so I'm about ready for the green grapes I've chosen for desert.

Hope ya'll had a good dinner tonight.  Until next time, be Blessed.    Judy...contented senior

Another Day Closer!

Good evening Post Friends,

It IS another day closer, speaking of Christmas of course.  I've tried to make a couple of gifts using peppermint essential oil.  Wouldn't ya know it, I used too much.  That was two days ago.  So for two days I've hung them around the apartment, even laid them outside, trying to air them out and make the very strong peppermint smell die down a good bit.  So far it's not working.  I hope by the time it's Christmas Day, the gifts will be tolerable. I hope, I hope.

I use to be pretty good at crafting!  Oh well, what can I say?  I do have a few other gifts in the works too.  They are beaded projects.  I've been learning how to make jewelry for a couple of months, but these gifts are more of creative art done with beads.  So, hoping they work out.

In the mean time time the days are moving fast, even though it's only the 8th, the 25th will be here before I know it.

Not to change the subject, but I can't remember how many times our family moved during the Christmas Holidays.  So here I am again, moving during the Christmas Holidays.  I didn't mean to set it up that way, it just kind of worked out that way.  I stopped at the grocery store and picked up some milk carton boxes.  The're the best for moving because they have a cut out on each end for carrying.  So for me, they are perfect as long as I don't make them too heavy.

 My plan is to start packing up the messiest closet first.  Some of what's in it will need to be either thrown away or given away.  It's my craft supply and general catch all closet, so you can probably imagine what it might look like.  Any way that's one of the big reasons that the days are going to move pretty fast.  It's possible I might be moving just before the holiday, so I've got to be ready.

I'm excited about the new place.  It's a bit smaller than where I live now, but it will be much more pleasant and peaceful.  I'm looking forward to that.  I've been moving most of my life.  My Mom, I guess, taught me how to look forward to a new place, a new home.  She always brought home maps and books about our new town, new state.  The whole family would get involved looking up all the information she could find about our new town.  Then when we got to move into our new home we were all involved in putting our things in place.  It was exciting and fun because she made it that way.
When I had my own family, we moved often as well.  Always something to look forward to and because of my Mother, the decision to like our new home, new town, new state, new friends, was already in our hearts because of my Mother.  Deciding where to put things and where to hang things, it's all good.  I'll be busy and I love it!!!

Happy planning and shopping for the big days ahead.

Blessings as you go..... Judy, the packing widow!

It's All About Jesus

Hi all,

Another busy day that was suppose to be full of nothing scheduled.  It soon was full of things and people to do and see.  Never the less, a good, productive day!

This Christmas is already much happier and lighter than the last one.  The answer is to focus on the reason for the season.  I haven't always done that.  In the past (10 years), I've focused more on myself and the songs about missing you at Christmas and I'll be home for Christmas, and many other songs that talk about being lonely.  Some of the songs are ones I listened to when my husband was in Viet Nam so that's what they remind me of when I hear them every year.  As these years have gone by, less and less I have spent time listening or remembering.

This year is a year of refreshment for me.  Remembering good things and forgetting the sadness.  Focusing on Jesus instead of myself and being sad...I expected myself to be sad so I was.  I've decided not to treat myself that way this year.  I've decided to change my behavior and thinking.  To enjoy the lights of the season, the colors and sparkles everywhere.  Even the cold weather is reminiscent of Christmas in the snow when I was young and when my family was young.  How very much laughter and red noses, and seeing our breath going before us.

The celebrations of the birth of Jesus, singing carols, parties with friends, gift giving, hot chocolate with marsh mellows, ice skating, snowmen, all in celebration of the birth of the Christ Child.  This is a good Christmas.  I'm so thankful for my Savior and so glad to celebrate His birthday this year.

Merry Christmas all.   Blessings, Judy             And, enjoy these days of this season, focus on Him.

I Just Don't Know What Happened!

Good Evening Readers,

I thought I had retired!  I thought that meant that one didn't have a lot to do so I could maybe watch TV during the day, snooze during the day in the recliner or on the couch, do a little bit of chores around the place, read, maybe do a hobby, and that's a day in retirement mode.  I just don't know what happened to that whole concept.  It sure isn't working out for me.  NOT this gal!!!

I've just been busy doing all day long.  And now it's nearly time to hit the sack and there's still more to do if it weren't bed time.  I could stay up and do that stuff but then I might mess up my sleep schedule and they say that seniors should keep a regular bed time and wake up time.  I do try to do that very thing so I must then, keep the bed time.

The thing is, I still have stuff I could be doing and it's not suppose to be that way.  Guess I'll do that stuff tomorrow.  Oh, guess I'll tell you what the stuff is that I could be doing.  I've been crafting Christmas gifts and I need to get those things wrapped and the mess cleaned up so that tomorrow I can start on some more gifts.

I know I sound like I'm whining but really, I love it.  I love that I've been busy most of the day, got some things accomplished and I'm tired and will be able to fall asleep quickly.  Even visited with a neighbor, so was a bit social too.  So, as for retirement, well I think this is it since this is what I do.  I just don't know how that happened!

I'll be back....goodnight and God Bless!     Judy, Senior, Widow, Single, Sleepy!

Ladies Only

Goodmorning all,

This is about some things I've changed in the way I take care of myself since becoming alone and senior.  That's why this post is for ladies only.  Men can read it but probably don't care about it because it's all about make-up and stuff like that.

Some of the changes I've made is because of finances being limited as well as opportunity to research, which I just hadn't thought of because at the time there wasn't a need to pay less for things.  So, here's what I've changed about my daily routine and what products I'm now using.

For facial cleaning it's Unrefined Coconut Oil, and for an astringent it's Witchazel with Lavender.
For deodorant it's a small amount of Unrefined Coconut Oil because aging changes that area.
For tooth brushing it's a recipe for toothpaste using Unrefined Coconut Oil and Peppermint EO.
For oil pulling (google can tell you what this is)
For hair dry conditioning it's a very small amount of Unrefined Coconut Oil.  Brings shine as well as     vitamins, antioxidants phenol compounds.
For some cooking, although I'm not as good about that but it does enhance the workings of      metabolism which aids in weight loss among other things.
For whole body moisturizing.
For nail cuticles
For hand and body moisturizing.  Pintrest is loaded with recipes for all things coconut oil.

Let me just explain just a bit why I picked coconut oil instead of cheap creams etc from my fave department store.  Coconut oil is cheaper right off the bat than buying all the different items that fill the above needs.  Plus, it's actually truly good and clear of chemicals.  What's in it is straight from the coconut, unrefined.  All natural and it performs like no other.  I challenge you to read labels just for fun and see how many products use coconut oil as part of the ingredients, along with chemicals you can't pronounce.  And...I'm noticing a difference in my skin, a good difference.

Obviously I'm not a doctor or scientist of anything so what I know is from actual use.  If you want to know about that kind of knowledge you will have to google it :).   I've googled most and also used Pintrest and articles from misc. publications.

The fragrance is a different strength depending on the brand.  Mostly faint and not overwhelming so that you can wear your favorite perfumes.

I google almost everything. :)   How's that for a post.  All for this time.  Try it all, I think you will be surprised at how much you like it.

Later gator,     Blessings, Judy          BTW, I still haven't figured out how to downsize my photo.

Hi folks,

Had a super busy day but a good one.  Got to go to a brunch and had a good time.  We made a rice filled sock with Lavender oil added.  For...draping around ones neck or elsewhere after heating in the microwave.  Nifty.  Then it was to Walmart to pick up my pre-ordered groceries.  Oh, then....well, you guessed it, home to put the groceries away.

Then, I replaced the wiring, etc., in a lamp that was given to me.  It's rather 1970, and I plan to paint what now is gold, black.  It is a 3 way and I haven't had a lamp like that since the 1960's.  It's on my night stand.  I think I love it.

Then, I heated up the left over pizza and had that for dinner along with some green grapes for desert.  Wendy and I have been in the recliner since watching "Breakfast at Tiffany's".  Haven't seen it in a very long time, so it's relaxing.  It's been rainy all day.  Very Christmastime!  I love Christmas.

Goodnight friends.  Blessings, Judy

Not Sure I'm Ready

Hey,

Not sure I'm ready for cold weather just quite yet.  And it isn't really cold yet.  Need some more sweats, and socks.  I know, it doesn't matter if I'm ready or not, it's coming anyway.  I'm trying to mind the electricity so the thermostat is set at 65.  Not too cold, just wearing more clothes.

My artificial fire has been burning all day for coziness along with the Christmas lights in the window.  Worked a while on some jewelry pieces for some friends to purchase as gifts.  Visited a neighbor and met with my prayer partner.  Missed out on a Christmas party for the volunteers but will be going to a Christmas brunch tomorrow with the women's group at church.

Accidentally got on to a senior dating website.  Really, didn't mean to, it came through when I was scrolling on Face Book.  So far I haven't been able to get rid of it, but I have one more thing to try.  I'm going to add it to my email  list to delete.  Hopefully that will do it.  I tried unsubscribing but it thows me to a page that says it's blocked.  I finally figured that it's the unsubscribe page that's blocked.  Tricky!!!

It's late and time for me to turn in.  Hope you all had a good day and sleep well tonight.  Blessings....Judy, Senior, Widowed, and Single.

Processing

Hi.  Please excuse the present arrangement.  I'm trying to figure out how to get my picture on the page the way I want it and so it will show up every post.  And I still can't figure how to read any comments that you leave.  It'll happen, it's processing!

I'm wearing a copper bracelet!.  They say it's suppose to address any pain in your body and also give you energy.  They also say it works or it doesn't work so I thought I'd try it and see if it works.

Took my Wendy to the Vet this evening.  She is very anxious and she has been taking medication to help calm her down, so we went to get her prescription refilled.  She also had her nails clipped and a dose of the bordello vaccine.  She had gained a little over a pound and on a doxie that's too much so we will work on that.  We've not been walking as much so going to have to change that too.  I'm happy she's mine even if she did growl at the Rottweiler in the waiting room at the Vet.

That's all folks!     Blessings to all and to all a good night!    Judy

Did You Ever Have One of Those Days?

Hello dear ones,

Yup, today is one of those for me.  No big deal really.  Had a super busy Thanksgiving weekend and a terrific Sunday at church.  Yesterday was Taxi day and somewhere along the way I managed to hurt my bum ankle so that it's just a bit sore and it talks to me throughout the day.  So, today I'm wearing my ankle brace to give it support.

Wouldn't get my self moving this morning and it's been that way all day.  My mood is good, just kinda not up and at-em.  My apartment is decorated so all is good.  I'm going to make my grocery list on line in a little bit so I can pick up my groceries on Friday before the weekend storm.  I love ordering the groceries online and then picking them up from Walmart.  Keeps me from overspending.

I did make a pumpkin bread today.  Put some walnuts in it and drizzled a glaze over it.  Sure was good.  I have lots left, enough for breakfast.  It's been a day of rest and I'm thankful.

'til next time folks....be blessed,     Judy              and, try a day off once in a while!

On my mini-van rear window.

Sunday Afternoons

Hello again,

There's something about Sunday afternoons that set it apart from any other day of the week.  As an adult it's been about taking a nap after church and a light lunch.  As a child it was about getting to go home with a friend after church for lunch and play time.  In those days there was evening service and many of us kids sat with our parents after an afternoon of play at a friends house.  If we didn't go to a friends house then we had to take a nap at home.

I'm just about to lay the recliner back as far as it will go, put on my sleeping mask, and doze for a while.  I did want to write before the nap because I don't know how long I will nap.  It's gray out and a bit on the cool side so good napping weather.  Had pizza for lunch so I'm about ready.  Wendy is at my side with the blanket over her.  I think she's already asleep.  It's really windy.  I can hear the howl every now and then.

Good church service today.  Turned out to b a morning of ministry so there was no sermon. Certainly was lots of prayer and individual ministry as Pastor's wife prayed for each and Pastor followed her with a bottle of oil.  It was beautiful to watch as one supported the other during ministry.

Well, nite nite for now.  Blessings....Judy, senior, widowed, and single.

Dried roses saved from my birthday.
A gift from my oldest.

I Got Er Done

Hi Folks,

It didn't take me very long to get all my Christmas decorations in place.  I got rid of most all my decorations last year so I went to the Dollar Tree and bought a few things.  It doesn't take much to decorate my apartment.  It's very small so there isn't a big or even medium Christmas tree.  Instead it's a very small silver foil tree.  I put some small red bells around it.  Color lights in the window and some silver garland over the windows.  That's it.  Looks and feels like Christmas.

I realized last year that it wouldn't take much to make the living room full of Christmas and it is.

It just doesn't take much to decorate my little cottage. 

I've always wanted to put a wreath on my car, so I did.

The Day After

Hello Folks,

The meals are all over and each meal we had was delicious and eaten with family and friends.  It has been a truly Blessed Thanksgiving.

Rest well all as we look forward to a Joyous Christmas Season.

Good Night all.

Judy, Senior, Single, and Widowed

Thanksgiving Dinner at My Daughter's

Just finished a wonderful dinner with the grands and my son-in-law and daughter.  The girls helped with the pies.  We had turkey, gravy, garlic mashed potatoes, green beans with almonds, rolls and Waldorf salad with cranberry fiz drink.  Pretty table and great company.  This was the first of three.  I didn't get to have any pie so I'll have it for breakfast when I get there in the morning to watch the parade.

Then it's to more family's home for a special brunch and I'm looking forward to that.  Lot's of family from my son-in-laws side, plus the grands.

Then on Friday more Thanksgiving dinner with my other daughter and her family.  She is fixing our family traditional dinner with her dad's dressing and turkey.  The dressing was his specialty and we've all tried our hand at duplicating it, maybe she's done it this time.  It's always fun.  We have to travel a bit to get to her and that will be fun too with family.

This is going to be a memorable Thanksgiving for sure.  God bless you all.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Blessings.....Mom, Gramms, and Content.  Judy

Learning, learning, and learning!

Hi Folks,

Just now typing the word "Folks" reminded me of trying to explain what that word means to a Rwandan that I worked with. His most spoken language was French mixed with English, the national language being Kinyarwandan. So, here am a West Texan trying to explain to another nationality what "Folks" means. Try it!

Back to my title....Learning! I've been researching how to do things on my blog and I'm learning. Found that folks who are trying to leave a comment are having to fill out a form or something like that. I haven't found a place that shows me what it looks like so I didn't know that. I hope it is not offensive. I'm gonna continue looking for the ways and means of how this works. It's fun, this blogging. I like to write, whether it's any good is up to the reader and whether it's worth returning to time after time, again, is up to the reader. I actually recommend it if you are a person that feels you have something you'd like to say and can't find anyone to say it to. Just a thought.

In the next few days I will be visiting with family that I've not seen for a while, so I'm eager to find out what they've been doing in life. What they are interested in. It's gonna be fun and interesting. I truly hope that your time during this Thanksgiving time will be a blessing in every way.

Til I write again... Blessings, Judy; single, senior, and widowed.

My friend is sitting at the desk.

There's Gonna Be a Whole Lot-a Turkey

In the old days there were always a bunch of people for a big meal at our house.  My husband loved to fix the turkey and his specialty was the dressing.  As it should be, times have changed.  The kids are grown and have their own.  The family is pretty spread out now, and of course my husband will be here in memory.

Dinner won't be in just one place.  There will be a small but complete dinner at my youngest daughters home Wednesday evening with her family and me.  Then on Thanksgiving Day we will go to my son-in-laws sisters home and have dinner there.  Her family, my daughter's family (minus my daughter, cuz she has to work), and me.  Friday we will travel a couple of hour to my other daughters house to have dinner with her and family, my other daughter's family (she has to work again), and me.  Whew!  There's gonna be a whole lot of thanking in my family.  It's going to be a good time among family and then season of Christmas begins.

I love these days ahead.  The wonderful opportunity to give thanks among family and with family.  To catch up on each others lives.  I give thanks to God for all the blessings of family and friends.  For the opportunity to share my life with others through this blog.  I know you have things to do to get ready for Thanksgiving Day.  Don't forget to have fun in the process and enjoy it all, every step of the way.

It is good to give thanks unto the Lord and to sing praises to His name.  Blessings, Mother and Gramms.   Judy

Things I Didn't Understand

In retrospect I think I just  might have learned something about the relationship between me and my husband.  Before I go on, I want to say this:  Women, cherish your man!  Men, cherish your wife!  If you aren't sure what that means, look it up, research.  Look in the Word of God, the dictionary, Google, friends, and gather all the information you can about what it means to cherish.

I'm guessing it took loosing my husband to cancer for me to have sufficient time to think.  Thinking about him and me for 10 years has highlighted some very interesting things.  At the time, in the midst of situations, conversations, feelings, and emotions I believe thoughts are formed, judgments made  as truth.  I think once that happens, as life goes on, you stack things on top of each truth you've crafted.  Kind of sorting and putting thoughts on a pile, building a judgement and evidence to prove that presumed truth.  Stay with me here, I think this is gonna work out for good.  I'll give an example.

I didn't understand how my husband could watch gory, blood and guts movies. Of course those kind of movies usually are rated R for violence and language.  So here's how.  I was looking at it through my life experiences.  Here it is folks....He lived alone in fear of death, painful torture, in fear of what his body would look like if he lived and if he died.  The circumstances were horrific and on going, day in and day out.  A Marine, far away from home in Viet Nam.  I think he became numb to those fears and the sights and sounds.  Watching a movie wasn't even close to the realities he had seen and experienced.  Here's my part....misplaced judgments and thoughts based on comparisons to my own life when there was no comparison.  

After all he experienced in Viet Nam, living back home in the U.S. was nothing by comparison.

I don't mean to sound like it's okay to blame trauma for things done after the event.  What I am saying is that my perceptions of his thinking and actions, were based on MY experiences and thoughts.  In plain English...he was wrong a whole lot of times...a judgement and often the need to fix him followed.

I think the thing I've seen in this is the opportunity to allow my husband to be himself, to be who he was.  In spite of thinking I knew I wasn't his Holy Spirit the evidence proved otherwise.  Part of loving is cherishing the person as they are, not for who you want them to be or hope they will be.

I'm so very glad that the Lord continues to teach me in all areas of my life.  When I first realized that I was blaming my husband for not being up to my standard, (even the idea that my standards were higher than his is an indicator) I was open to appreciate him more.  Funny that could happen after he is gone.  My heart and memories are fuller and I can say I cherish his memory and I continue to learn more and more about him and us even now.

This has been a big part of my recovery from grief and ability to move on in my new life as a Senior.  In healing, some bandaids had to be removed so that the air could get to the wounds.  Jesus is my healer and my deliverer, and He cherrishes me.

My Village Enterauge
near Kigali, Rwanda, Africa 

Senior, Single, and Widow.    Blessings..... Judy

Getting Older and Bolder

I remember when I was younger noticing some seniors that just seemed to think they could do what and say what they wanted.  You know the type, they just speak their mind with no apology or so it seems.  Now that I'm not younger any longer I think I know why they were so bold or at least I think I know.

There are lots of people who have lived lots longer than I have so far, but there seems to be an effect that experience, over the years of living, has on a level of fear and uncertainty.  Hope you are following me here.  Kinda like after you've learned to ride your bike without falling so much, it becomes less scary so you get boulder and start learning how to do tricks on your bike.

So, over time through experience, I think some of us just get boulder as fear proves to be needless or senseless.  In some instances we have proved to ourselves that we can do things we thought we couldn't.  And, there's also the idea that what ever might happen because of our boldness is no big deal.  We don't have as much to loose, or so it seems.

Living long enough to begin to hear of Seniors younger than us expiring, sort of gives a since of...well bravery maybe because we are still living.?? Think it could be an acceptance of the inevitable?  Beats me!  I do think it's interesting to see myself more outspoken, less likely to keep my mouth shut when I think it's time for me to speak up.  Not in a bad way, mind you!

Me carrying grass for the cow in Kigali, Rwanda, Africa

Senior, Single, Widow and Bold.....Blessings......Judy

IN MY OPINION

Friday is a good day, an  especially  good day.  My very good friend and I meet at one of our homes for about 3 hours every week.  We just talk about this and that, what's been happening lately.  What we've been thinking.  What God has spoken to us and just all kinds of things.  Some things are serious and some frivolous.  It's a good friend time.  AND THEN WE PRAY.  It's a rally good time.  I find that during the following week I've been encouraged, strengthened and built up for the next days ahead. 

 I'm so thankful for a friend that I can be open and drop any pretenses I might have.  I want to say to those reading this blog that if you do not have a very close friend ask God for one.  We both had prayed for a friend for quite some time and when the time was right, God brought us together.  

I was heading to the mission field and I knew that I needed a prayer partner that would pray with me and for me during the whole process, so I asked God to point her out to me and He did.  At this age I find it refreshing to have a new friend that's a truly good and trustworthy friend.  After many years of moving around I realized that though I had made many friends and knew  some lovely people that I met along the way, that I just didn't have that one close, good, faithful friend.  The time was right.

We have been meeting to pray together for 2 years I think.  It's been consistent, almost never missing a week.    After I came back from a short term missions trip is when we began and I think that was 2013.  We started out meeting together and going to yard sales.  Sometimes meeting at Barnes and Noble and walking the mall casually.  That lasted until the weather got too cold and wet and then we began to meet and talk and pray.  My friend pointed out to me as we continued on, that wasn't it funny that we started out just getting to know each other and goofing off together before we actually settled in and then began to meet and pray.  No doubt God is our guide.

Be a friend, make a friend.  Single, Senior, Widow.... Blessings  Judy

Every day is a new day

Isn't it wonderful that no two days are exactly the same?  No two Wednesdays are the same either.  Today was different cuz I had to get up extra early and go to the clinic and get my blood drawn for my annual exam.  They call it an assessment and they ask me all kinds of questions and even little word tests to see how well I remember things  I'm a Senior!

It's a good thing to go to a clinic that specializes in senior care.  So, I'm glad I get to be part of it.  It's part of God's provision for me.

The rest of the day I took it easy.  Wendy and I walked our usual route and then came home and watched the news and I worked on beading projects.  Very relaxing and creative.  I like that.  I'm gonna get to bed early tonight so I can get a good nights sleep.  I think I've talked about how the prospective of the days of the week change after retirement.

Even when you keep busy the days have a different place in the week than they did when you worked or had a house full of family.  For instance, Monday is no longer a dreaded day approached  with  hesitancy and heels dug in against the inevitable.  Tuesday is usually a brighter day but there's still the whole week ahead of you... You get the idea.

Now, at least for me, everyday is new and full of opportunity and possibilities. I do have a morning routine and when that's done I get to do all kinds of things, of course I have to make room for appointments...all kinds, and I get to choose what's next.  I love it.  In this season of retirement I get to do things that I didn't have time for.  Most is just playing.  The challenges are to be a self starter and get going.  That sometimes includes a recliner nap!  Oh, and visiting friends.  It is important to not get stuck and set yourself up for boredom.  Find things you like to do, several things so when you get tired of one, you can switch to another.  Specially when the weather is cold and wet.  In a couple of days we are suppose to have our first freeze...a hard freeze.

The geese are gathering on the playa lake so the warm sunny days will not be around much as the season changes.    I'm so thankful for seasons that change and that no two days are exactly the same.

Tomorrow is gonna be a good day.  Blessings....  Senior, Single, and Widowed, Judy

Me...Gramms 2013

This is me.  Taken before I went to Africa on a short term trip.

I missed posting yesterday.  I was soooo busy yesterday I was just flat out too pooped to pop!  I was Taxi yesterday for the grands and that's always fun and rushed.  I dropped them, the basket ball players off at the wrong place.  OH DEAR.... I said to my daughter this morning on the phone.  She said all was ok though.  Their Dad was already on his way to watch them play and so he found them and took them to the right place.  One of them didn't get to play because he was too late but it all worked out okay.

Threw me in a tizzy to say the least.  Thinking about what the kids must have gone through, but their Mom said they handled it very well and did what they were suppose to do.  Called their Dad and waited.
My taxi routine has been amended as a result and now I will go inside to be sure they are in the right place and are suppose to be there that day.  It's ok though, I just like hanging with them.

New subject:  As I go along in these days thinking I'm 30ish I'm jarred by the fact that I get tired way before I think I should and I just can't manhandle things anymore.  Too heavy or too tight or something.  Oh, and a day or so after I've attached a project I discover I'm moving slower and I have some unfamiliar aches and pains I didn't have yesterday.  Then there's the change in the weather.  Whoa...didn't see that coming.  Just overall stiffness and soreness.

All for this go-round.  Keep coming back... Senior, Single, & Widowed.   Blessings, Judy

It's Sunday

The days are moving so fast.  Do you realize it's almost Thanksgiving?  So much to do!

The life I'm living for now is interesting, a challenge and, I prefer to think of it as an adventure!  So, as a result of my need for a new battery I shopped at Walmart, bought the battery, a jumper machine and an all purpose tool.  I'm so very grateful that I still had some money in my bank account and was able to pay for the things I needed.  Living on Social Security...that fixed income they talk about... is indeed a whole different perspective on budgeting.  I do have a part-time (actually on call) job at the hospital which, from time to time, brings in a check.  I also have an on-line Avon web site that is available as an opportunity for income.

This morning I logged on to my bank account to see the activity and there had been a deposit of just under $10 from Avon.  I realized that there would be a draft coming in for insurance that was more than my account balance.  With that Avon deposit there is sufficient money to cover that draft.  It is such a blessing to be on the receiving end of God's favor and provision as he takes care of me.  Another benefit of the cross.

One thing I've been able to do is to keep on keeping on looking for ways to bring in income, even if it's a small amount.  Again, God's intervention on my behalf.  Another "tent making income" is my on line Avon store.  www.youravon.com/judychase.  A side note: If you enjoy Avon products my web store is open for business if you have need of a representative.  

As I'm writing I have a drying rack set up with freshly hand washed clothes hanging up to dry.  There is more in the sink in a bucket soaking.  I have one of those clothes lines strung up in the bathroom over that tub which I will pull out for the clothes in the bucket.  All through my life there have been the ups and downs, have and have not.  I learned how to live with and without.  Though a challenge, it has always been a time of imagination  and a measure of fun and encouragement.  

God has provided for me in every way and I'm thankful and grateful to Him for all His Blessings.

My apartment, God's provision.  I am blessed.  Single, Widowed, Senior   Blessings.... Judy

Follow up the morning after

This morning, after 2 cups of coffee and 1.5 walk with Wendy, I took the car to the Quick Quack.  Detailed the minivan.  It hadn't been vacuumed in quite a while so there was much to do.  I regularly taxi my grandchildren to and from their after school activities every week when their Mother and Dad are working.  It is my pleasure because it gives me opportunity to spend some time with them, and I love it.

Anyway, back to this mornings activities.  After detailing the car, I then drove it through the car wash, completing the job.  Met my son in law and a couple of the grands at Roses' for lunch and then drove to their home to show and tell him about the jump start machine that I had purchased along with an all purpose tool for my car.  After he showed me how to use the machine I'd bought I drove home.  Wendy was glad to see me.

My hope is that should the car stall out on me again, I will be able to jump it myself and be on my way.  I have discovered that this is a point of pride.  Not ever wanting to ask for help, doing every-thing myself.  I have also discovered that that isn't practical.

Single! Senior!  Aging means less physical strength.  Some things I used to do have become impossible to do just for lack of strength.  I'm very active, and I push myself a lot, and I sometimes hurt myself trying to do things I used to do.   Funny, I don't mind being 72 but I do mind loosing physical strength.  I seem to continue come up against things that I have to do....by my self!!!  I either have to get some help or do it myself.  Mostly I give up and figure out how to get around the problem.

Learning how to be Single, Senior, and Widowed.     Blessings..... Judy

An example from yesterday

Yesterday was my day to volunteer at the Gift Shop in the Women's and Children's Hospital.  I started at 12 and was suppose to faze into paid time at 4pm.  The fella I was to substitute for was able to come in and so that cancelled that shift.  At 4pm I left the shop and headed to the parking lot to go home.

The minivan wouldn't start.  The hospital security will help in such predicaments, so I called them and it just so happened that they were on an emergency call and the dispatcher didn't know when they would be able to help me but they would come as soon as they could.  So, I called my good friend and she and her hubby.

Like a super hero they rolled up with their jump cables.  Well, the car wouldn't start.  Many retrys and much looking and discussion and it still wouldn't start.  An older couple came to see if they could help and the ritual started over.  Then a younger couple came over and the young man worked on the cables as though he knew exactly what he was doing.  Again, the ritual began, but this time there some differences but still, the car wouldn't start.

I was on the phone with my daughter bringing her up to speed when the young man indicated to me to turn the key on again.  I did and....IT STARTED!!!  Many Praises and Hallelujah's rang out as all of us cheered at the sound of the car running.

With all the hand shakes and thank you's it was found that the young man was an ex-Marine.  He and his wife run a ministry for people with drug and alcohol issues.  The two couples who joined us were all Christians.

Living a singles life......   Blessings,  Judy

This is the night

This is the night that will change our lives.  November 8, 2016.

I'm going to write while I watch the election results come in.  Going to my daughters for a watch party and breakfast for dinner!  I love it.  The kids are home schooled so this is a project for them to keep up with the color of the states as things go along, so it will be good for them to learn how the system works.

At the kids now, the smell of breakfast fills the background of the sound of the news media as they continuously talk.  Supposing this and supposing that and hearing too close to call many times.  Dinner is over and most are settling down except for the dish washer loader.  Now down to the business of....watching TV!

Since writing about singles yesterday, I've had occasion to talk to a couple of women about suddenly being single and the response was interesting and familiar.  Pretty much total shock with a huge loud thump as the responsibilities landed on her shoulders.  Seems that even if the woman has participated in decision making, paying bills, etc., the result is the same.  So, in my opinion, it's not just about decisions and paying bills, there's a greater load the husband bares, that is mostly unseen, but definitely there.  Being suddenly single is a culture shock and traumatic.  I don't know why after just a few months or so friends and sometimes family seem to expect you to begin to move forward eagerly living life again, fully functional, thinking clearly, and decisive.  Of course, how the singleness came about is a big factor.  I'd like to see agreement/disagreement in the comment section.  Sharing how we have dealt with such a life change can be....well, a good thing.

This is a short one and I hope there will be some response.  Well, we will have a new direction at the end of the counts.  Blessings for us all.    Judy

Single Widowed Senior

I just realized that I'm wearing 3 different hats here.  Boy, writing this blog is good therapy.  Let me start with the last one.  Senior!  This one is ongoing I think, so at this point I'm probably never gonna know everything about being a senior.  But, I do want to just give a little bit here about being a senior.  You look in the mirror but your reflection isn't what you see.  It's a strange wrinkled old person, maybe your mother?  You reach up to retrieve  a large bowl from the cabinet above the stove and the arm isn't yours you see.  It's full of deep loose wrinkles stretching up while some sota just hang.  You get ready to get up from your favorite chair to get a snack and it takes 3 tries to actually get up on your feet.  I could go on but you get the picture.  BTW, that's a lot to accept and it's on going!

Widowed.  There was no insurance so it's "poor widow".  A whole new role in life.  No more shopping at will.  If there's a little money to shop for clothing etc., it's learning all about the thrift shops and second hand shops, Goodwill and Salvation Army.  You learn when senior day is and what day of the week to go to get the most current deal.  You also learn to buy store brands or the cheapest on the shelf, and the menu changes too.  Not eating out becomes the norm and steak is almost never.  Getting use to people asking how ARE you?  What are you doing these days? and then within seconds they are looking around bored at what you're saying.  Unbelievable as it seems, most reactions to grieving widows is..."you should be over that by now", or at least the words are spoken with that attitude.  You run into all kinds of attitudes that are unexpected.

Single.  "Are you dating anyone?"  That about says it all.  "You have to put yourself out there!"  My question is why?

Guess that's enough of that.  You know when you just say one of those words to describe yourself you have automatically put yourself in a category that defines who you are.  At least that's what they think.  But, it's just not true.  I am the same person I was before each one of those words became attached to me.  Certainly I've had to learn how to live differently, but learning is good and can be life changing if you let it.  A challenge, an adventure and doable.  Just ignore all the crying, anger, frustration, self pity, depression!  Really!!

More tomorrow.....  Blessings    Judy

I was never single

Hi again.  It's true.  I went from living at home to living in USMC barracks to marriage.

I didn't really think about that until I found myself...single.  I woke up one morning in a new apartment and I was alone.  Alone in ways I had never thought of before.  Now, understand that I had been alone many times before.  In the service Skip was gone a lot, then in the ministry he was off to conferences and different things like that and I didn't go so I was alone.  But, I wasn't single.

Now I was responsible for everything!  I'm not talking about just taking out the trash and putting gas in the car, Oh, way more than that.  People I knew looked at me with sort of a sad expression and a smile.  I'm not feeling sorry for myself here, just explaining how different life suddenly was.  Now, I had to work!  I couldn't just hang out.  I had an income from Skip's Social Security but it wasn't enough to cover everything.  I had already tried to hold Skip's real estate business together, but that didn't work out.  Not for lack of trying but rather for lack capability.  I could do lots of parts of the job by myself but I didn't have the ability to do some very important parts.  Add that to the state of grief I was in and I had nothing.  So, I resigned and backed out of the real estate business and signed up at an employment agency to look for a temporary job.

Talk about stress.  It came from everywhere.  My mind was mush.  Now, I'm usually pretty orgainized and when the pressure is on I make a list of to-do's for each day of the week so I wouldn't forget anything.  It just didn't seem to work because I kept leaving things off the list.  Sometimes because I didn't know about it.  It's a whole different mindset to be totally responsible.  There's no one to consort with, or take over part of the load.  No one to reach in his pocket and pull out money to help pay for things.  Now it was all up to me.  Everything.  Getting a job, holding a job, paying for living expenses, the car, food, personal needs, everything.  And if there was gonna be any extras or fun, I had to have the money for those too.  All that and I had to learn how to function in society in a whole new way.  I'll tell ya, I sure felt the eyes of friends and family watching.  Single has a whole different job description whether young or a Senior.

An experience I didn't expect and wasn't ready for.  Single and Senior

Thanks for reading.  I'll be back tomorrow.  Blessings,  Judy

It was 1962

New Years Eve

I was at the WM's Club (that's Woman Marine's Club) at USMCAS Cherry Point, N.C..  I had a blind date for New Years Eve.  He was a nice fella but not my type at age 18. Private Mary Judith Daniel, W712805 Military ID.  They weren't using social security numbers then.  I can hardly believe that I still remember it but they did drill it into us.  We recited it over and over again while in boot camp at Paris Island, SC.  Yep, I joined while still in High School and was considered in the reserves until June when I entered boot camp.  Well, anyway, like I was saying, I was at the club that night and among friends there because I hung out there most every day.  It was within walking distance from the barracks so my bunkie and I often walked over after chow.

Anyway, the fella I was with didn't dance and I did so I was out on the floor with or without a partner.  Sometime near midnight I spotted two guys dancing without partners so I entered in with permission, and danced too.  There the three of us were doing the twist I think, or some such.  The clock struck midnight and Skip grabbed me and kissed me full on.  It wasn't quite that dream kiss one would hope for.  Actually it was anything but.  The romantic thing was that when the kiss was done I told him to not let go of me because I didn't want to kiss my date who was approaching.  So, he didn't let go and my date didn't try to intervene, he went back to his seat.  I thought I'd escaped but I hadn't because when I did go back to my seat, he was waiting.  Fast forward to the following day.  I was ready and waiting for Skip to arrive to pick me up for the date he had asked me for the night before.  Once he got to the barracks to pick me up the date lasted until February 16th, 1963.  We married at the Methodist Episcopal Church in New Bern, N.C. at 2 pm.  He, Skip, had turned 20 in December and I was still 18.  Just kids.

We pretty much grew up together.  By the 42nd year of marriage we had lived a whole lot of life, unlike most other folks.  He retired a Gunnery Sargent after 21.5 years.  That included many war games away from home, two overseas tours approximately 14 months each time.  Viet Nam for the second overseas tour but the first was originally Okinawa in 1963 then to and from Viet Nam twice for the better part of the 14-16 months.  We moved every 2 years until his twilight tour, which was his last overseas tour and that was to Hawaii with family.  Yay!!!  Of course we had children those first two homecomings, both girls.  We did have one more baby in October of 1969 I think.  Our only son James Allen Chase, Jr. was stillborn at full term.  Hard times were not unfamiliar to us. But I do have to say that our lives were not without adventure and just plain fun to say the least.  Skip was fun challenging us girls to trudge through the snow to the 7-11 just to get a coke, or black berry picking along with the mosquitoes and stickers.  I can't really think of anything we wanted to do that we didn't eventually try.  Sometimes succeeding, sometimes not, but not for lack of trying.  It was a whirl wind romance from the get go with all the troubles nearly, that most marriages go through and we kept on keeping on through it all, together.  I wouldn't trade it for anything or anyone else.  We were a good looking couple, a good looking family.  We still are.

Thanks for dropping in.... 'til we meet again, Blessings.    Judy

October to January

Welcome back.

Less than three full months from beginning to end.  It is clear that our emotions were tossed to and fro by the ongoing changes in Skip's emotions, state of mind, and physical condition.  Having no real advance notice of the next change.  While dealing with the current issues the next phase was already moving in and so it went.  Never a warning or indication that things had changed when we were looking the other way.  Somewhere in there was a struggle to remain sane.  To hold out for hope.

I prayed for healing.  Complete deliverance from both the tumor and the cancer in his kidney.  Always tacking on the end of the prayer, "but your will be done".  To this day I don't know how to do that, how can you pray a prayer with faith and certainty that is double minded.  I was covering my bases, trying to agree with God's plan, what ever it was.  Did I believe he could heal Skip completely, yes, did I think he was going to, no.  Simple as that.

Even today I don't what I would have done if my girls hadn't stepped in and taken up a banner.  Each doing what they do best in each situation and circumstance.  I was kept busy like a robot, moving from one thing to the next, unaware of changing gears, unaware of making decisions.  In some situations I hid and in others I looked as though I was on top of things but in reality, inside, I was operating as though I was in another world.

I do remember not knowing what to do.  I was looking for direction, listening for answers.  And, this was about every little thing that happened throughout each day.  We had a memorial service and the girls orchestrated the whole thing.  They each came to me asked me questions about what I wanted and if what they had decided was okay with me.  It was the right thing to do.  Before we stepped out the doorway to walk into the sanctuary and take our seats I took off my wedding rings and gave each of the girls one ring.  I wanted to be without the wedding rings from then on.  You know, I can't really explain anything I did or any decision I made during those days.  Even trying to remember now is like watching a movie.  Watching someone else.

I want to add here, before I finish this entry, a comment that continues to be part of my story.  I don't know how anyone makes it through such a life altering event with out knowing Jesus as savior, God as creator and Father, and the Holy Spirit as comforter and so much more.  Without them holding me together and ministering to me all along the way I cannot imagine how I would have survived it.  Thank you Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

And, thank you for reading.  Blessings....Judy

Because...

Cont'd...I do have a reason for writing about those last months and days and it is to hopefully say something that might ring a bell for someone else.  Perhaps someone who has gone through something tragic and had feelings and things happen that didn't seem okay, seemed well, crazy in a way.  So as my story continues I hope this will be helpful.  A couple of years after Skip's death I even thought of writing a book about it all.  Because I discovered widows who just didn't talk about it.  Wearing a mask of smiles and acting as though everything was okay.

One very important project was ongoing in our house.  We had started renovation on our kitchen.  Everything was removed, gutted.  Everything from the floor up was to be removed and replaced.  Before all the doctor visits, we had picked out all the cabinetry and appliances and flooring, paint colors, etc. etc. etc..  It seemed like there was a constant flow of work men coming and going every day and yet the work was going so slow.  I had to take up the supervision of the job.

In the next couple of weeks things got really complicated and fuzzy and unreal.  We now had a hospice nurse who came quite often and a counselor.  Skip requested to be moved out to the sun room he had built.  With the help the girls and our son in law we began to make arrangements to make Skip as comfortable as we could.  In the mean time his doctor prescribed pain medications, chemo, and radiation.

Hospice provided a bed and other equipment needed to meet his needs.  A walker was provided and with in just a few days a wheelchair was brought in.  Our home became a hub of people coming and going to provide meds, mini exams, and baths.  Visitors coming by.  Once the sun room was complete with a day bed for me we began sleeping in the sun room.  Rather like camping out because of all the windows. Between the girls and I, we made a schedule to ensure that someone was with him all the time.

Skip and I spent many hours sitting out on the front porch.  One of the first times we did that he had been praying and considering his options.  The doctors gave no real hope of life.  He could take chemo and radiation but no guarantee of life.  Even talking in terms weeks and maybe a month or two with treatment. With out treatment the same result.  He was still having awful headaches and pain.  He was taking so many meds to treat all the side affects and we began to notice some behaviors that were not at all part of him.

Anyway, Skip and I were sitting on the front porch enjoying the pleasant weather when he told me what he had decided to do about treatment.  What did I think of him not doing the chemo and or radiation, how would I feel about that. It was one of those times that you just say the brave thing without even really thinking about it.  I said, I want you to do what you want to do.  I will support you in what ever you decide to do.  I was instantly numb somewhere inside and from there on I don't really think I allowed myself to play out the repercussions from his decision, what it would mean. I didn't want to know what was ahead.

We sat quietly for a good while.  The sun was warm and the time was still.  After some time had passed, I called the girls and asked them to come by, Dad had something he wanted to talk to them about.

There are so many blank spaces for me during those days.  I do remember feeling numb, alert to the moment but numb, surreal.  Like being present but not being there.  The discussions were so serious, so totally different than our normal get to gathers.  No one was themselves.

And the workmen in the kitchen continued adding to the unsettled atmosphere.  I was trying to be Skip at the real estate office, keeping appointments, making phone calls, showing houses.  Talking to sellers.  Even trying to present a newly listed house at the weekly meeting and when they asked how much the seller wanted for the house, I was speechless.  It was one bit of information I didn't have.  Thinking and focusing was not readily available to me.

If you have read any of my posts please be sure to like my page and leave a comment.

Blessings 'til next time, Judy

In December 2005

Hello, Good to see you back.  If you've read my blog before, thank you for touching base with me again.  Please leave a comment or question.  I'd truly like to read your input.

As I said before, in October Skip, my husband, was diagnosed with cancer in both kidneys.  It was a toss up on which kidney to remove they were both equally taken over.  So, as soon as the operation could be scheduled he went in and of course me and the girls followed.  BTW, both girls are RN's, each in different areas of medicine.  Skip came out of surgery and according to the doctor, everything went as planned.

It was while we were in his room after he came from recovery that the girls began to notice some things that didn't seem as they should be on his left side.  Being left handed was an issue as he couldn't hold his cup and couldn't use his left leg and foot to walk.  A neurologist was asked to come and evaluate him and his prelim was that there was a neurological issue causing the symptoms.  Quick arrangements were made for Skip to see a neurologist for testing.

From this time the hours and days seemed to run together and move so fast but not move at all.  We went to the doctor/surgeons office together to see the outcome of testing in the x-rays as well as hear the results of other tests that had been done.  Not good.  A tumor behind his right ear.  glioblastoma multiforme,  A highly malignant, rapidly growing type of brain tumor.

In the hall waiting for the surgeon to come out and talk to us about the biopsy.  And, waiting.  Not good, again.  The surgeon had to close up as quick as he had started because of the bleeding.  The tumor was growing and spreading fast and no options for removal.  We knew he was homeward bound without saying it. 

This is difficult to write about even though it's been ten years.  It was a hard, hard time.  More tomorrow.

There's a reason I'm going there and I'll explain tomorrow.  Blessings as you go.....Judy

Just call me "The Widda Chase"

I often try to use humor when things are going not so good.  As you might suspect it doesn't go over very well if at all.  No one seems to notice at all that I've said something (I think) funny.  This is one of those most desperate times in my life and the lives of my girls.  An attempt to lighten things up when others are not ready for it.  2006, January 17, 11:26 pm my husband "Skip" made his trip home. It was my youngest daughter who actually saw him go and after making sure she laid her hand on my arm and when I opened my eyes she said, "Mom, he's gone".

My daughters and I had gathered around his bed and began rejoicing and offering praise to the Father for taking him home to be with him.  It was a precious time for the three of us.  Recognizing that their Dad and my Husband was immediately with our savior Jesus, was a spirit and heart filling time.  Unexplained joy was in the room as we thanked our God for His mercy, and love for us all.

Well, there were phone calls to make and door bells to answer.  The three of us settled in the living room which was off the sun room where his body lay waiting for the nurses to come and declare the time of death.  Next came the folks from the funeral home and some visitors.  Though our energy was high, we were beginning to show signs of our tiredness.  It was while we were alone I said those words..."just call me the widda Chase".  No one laughed except me.

Shortly after all the people left except the three of us it was decided that my oldest daughter would spend the night with me.  So, that first night it was "Penny" the King Charles Cavalier pup my husband had given me a few months earlier, my oldest, and me.

I don't remember much of those first few days as a widow.  Skip (nick name) and I had been married just a few days short of 43 years.  He had retired from the USMC in 1981 and by 2006 we had spent years as Pastors of several small churches and then resigned and he had become a realtor and was doing pretty well.  I had just passed my realtors license to sell exam the day he was diagnosed with kidney cancer.

We had plans for these senior years.  A whole lot of plans.

Hope to see you back here tomorrow to continue.  Blessings...... Judy

My Hobby is....

Making jewelry.  Yup, and I've opened a shop on Etsy https://www.etsy.com/shop/GrammsCottage just in case you want to take a look.

It is the most fun and challenging and creative.  I've been learning how to not only string beads but how to connect a fastener.  How to secure the beads so the whole thing doesn't fall apart.  I've made and worn earrings, bracelets and a necklace.  I didn't think I could do it but it was worth trying.  Don't care if it's a big hit or not.  Mostly I've made too much to just keep for myself so that's why I decided maybe I could sell enough to pay for the hobby.

I've done lots of other things for hobbies and I highly recommend it.  Brings interest, challenge, education and lots of other things good for the mind, hands, eyes, etc.  My eyes aren't too good but I've managed to set up enough lighting to make it just fine.  I plan on purchasing a light that has a magnified glass in it too.  Hasn't stopped me from doing a fun thing a bit.

I don't have a bunch of money in case you were thinking about that.  I started out with a kit from Walmart. (I think I've blogged about this earlier).  Anyhow, with the kit I was able to make some wearable jewelry and from there I just buy a little bit at a time.  It doesn't have to be beading by the way.  What ever you think you might like to try is worth it even if it doesn't work out.

Gives me something to talk about with others and it's interesting...at least to me! hee hee hee   Today was a great Sunday.  Went to church, I'm always so glad when I do.  Came home and ate lunch and then took a really nice nap.  Been working on my Etsy shop loading pictures of some items I've made.  It takes a while. Now writing.

Also watching Star Trek...the original version.  It's been a nice restful day, hope you've had one of those too.

Blessings,   Judy........I would love to know what you'd be interested in.  

A Day of Rest

Hope your Saturday was a good day for you.  I accomplished a couple of things that I'd wanted to do but nothing really major.  Wendy and I walked this morning as usual.  She isn't really interested in having her picture taken, I do keep trying though.  I did do a little laundry and reading also for my Wed. morning class.  That's about it.  The rest of the day I did a little bit of a lot of things and mostly laid back in the "Goodwill" red recliner and messed with the computer and watched the Dog Whisperer and napped.  A very good Saturday.

I've gotten to where I listen to my body when it says it's tired.  I found it doesn't lie about it.  I've tried to go, go, go like I did when I was much younger and it just doesn't do well for me anymore.  Seems like it make take a day or two but "boom", it hits.  I think I'm one of those who has to learn the hard way by experience.  So...I'm beginning to get it!!!  I don't like this part of aging though it does make for a good excuse when I don't want to participate in something.  Gonna say goodnight.  Wanna get to Church in the morning so need to get that rest.
Blessings,       Judy

TGIF?

I couldn't believe that after I really retired and wasn't doing much Friday became just like any other day as did Monday.  Still think it's funny that I don't celebrate Fridays or drag on Mondays.  Monday has turned out to be a wonderful day and Friday??? turns out it's just fine Friday!

So today is Friday a truly busy day.  It began at 9:30 am at my friend's home for chatter and prayer.  Usually lasting 3 hours or less depending on our independent schedules.  Always a treat to just visit and pray together.  We've seen answers from time to time and that's always wonderful.

Lunch was next and then taking the grands to their different activities which included a class in writing and basketball practice.  I got home about 4ish.  Worn out but content.

Looking into putting ads on my blog to help draw readers.  And I think you get to earn just a bit of money for compensation some how or other.  Starting up an Etsey Shop: GrammsCottage/etsey.com is not a quick project.  I'm still working on it to get some sort of advertising to get the word out about my shop.  It's a hobby...both this blog and the shop and that keeps me active in creativity.

Blessings to all...I invite feedback on my blog.  Please feel free, just be nice.  Judy